(everyone loves a…) SHARPIE – KING OF PENS!!!

beckham_in_la_home_tile (from Sharpie.com website)

beckham_in_la_home_tile (from Sharpie.com website)


This is a little post dedicated to Hannah, after an incident in American Apparel, concerning a exchange of an item, a member of staff and the offer of a pen!

Here is the background which will help explain my thoughts about the humble Sharpie – king of pens.

So the other week, Hannah and I popped into American Apparel in Brighton to exchange a T-shirt which wasn’t up to par.  A simple exchange, nothing complicated.

Whilst at the counter, the serving lady said:

“Can I interest you in a Sharpie?”

Our eyes darted to the glistening glass fronted cabinet upon which the till of commercialism stood.  There, hiding beneath the protective barrier were rows upon rows of the much fabled Sharpie pens.  I believe we both looked at the pens, then at the serving lady, then at the pens and then at each other – before firmly, but politely rejecting the offer.

On leaving the shop we puzzled over why;
A) American Apparel were selling pens,
B) Why they were routinely offering them to all customers as though you are bound to suddenly desire an overpriced pen whilst you are paying for your overpriced fluorescent hot pants and
C) why people are so obsessed what is essentially a glorified marker pen.

Anyway, this troubling incident was thrusted back to the forefront of my mind, whilst at work, I began writing something with a pen I found and realised….IT WAS A SHARPIE!

Ode To A Sharpie (2009)

Ode To A Sharpie (2009)


Several things perplex me about the Sharpie, perhaps the biggest thing is why on earth David Beckham is the patron of their advertising regime.  The picture above, taken from Sharpie’s website is genius!  I love the attempt to actually try and make a marker pen come across as sexy! And the only conclusion I can draw as to why Beckham is being used, is that his tattoos are actually fake and he draws them on with a Sharpie every morning…think about it – it makes sense!



Anyway, this was meant to be a brief posting inspired by Hannah’s Sharpie confusion, so I will stop milking it and get on with the main point.  Sharpie tell us to WRITE OUT LOUD, so that’s what I thought I would do.  They also tell us that the pen can write on anything, a claim, which I could not accept without rigorous testing.  This image is the product of my testing and review of the pens.

For those who do not want to turn their head in circles to read it, here is a transcript:

So, shall we talk about Sharpie’s?  That’s right – its a pen.  Everyone loves a Sharpie.  I don’t – its a pen, I couldn’t give a crap about a pen.  Apparently it writes on anything…I have just tested it to see.  Will it write on a fork?  Yes.  Will it write on a hot mug?  Yes.  Paper? Yes. Table? Yes. Foil part of a paracetamol packet? Yes. Crisp Packet?  NO…it comes off.  Bouncy ball? NO! – smudges…FUCK YOU SHARPIE.

Say no more.  Sorry Sharpie.  Sorry Beckham.  Sorry American Apparel.  Rest easy Hannah.


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