IF YOU EVER SEE A MAN WITH A LETTUCE HEAD – RUN, HE IS A CRIMINAL!

MR LETTUCE HEAD – WANTED FOR ROBBING OLD LADIES


Lettuce Head Photo E-Fit Re-enactment (2010)


Here is a transcript of what I image happened:

MR LETTUCE HEAD – “Oy love, giv us yer bag”
OLD LADY – On no, please don’t stab me Mr Lettuce Head – have what you will from me
MR LETTUCE HEAD – Sorry luv, nothing personal.  But society is to blame.  It’s my lettuce head see, nobody will employ a man with a vegetable for hair these days.  It’s all those Eastern Europeans you see.

 

THE STRANGEST NEWS STORY TODAY

Ello Ello Ello!  What have we here then?

Why it’s a man with a lettuce head.

Today, my eyes were instantly fixated by a rather special sounding headline on the BBC homepage, the title of which was: Hampshire police release lettuce e-fit suspect.  My clicking finger could not resist, I had to investigate what this was all about.

The basic premise is that Hampshire police admitted having technical issues, when they re-leased an e-fit of a man who robbed an old lady of £60.  The technical issue was that the suspect looked much like he was wearing a lettuce on his head.  That’s amazing, I wish I was a Mr Lettuce Head and I would almost welcome being robbed by someone who was lettuce headed.

Anyway, after reading the story, I realised it wasn’t actually as exciting as it sounded and it certainly wasn’t as funny as the headline suggested – but the e-fit picture was quite special!

Arounds about the same time, I was made aware of a new blog – the author of which is my new hero.  The Blog, Hyperbole and a Half is very special indeed and must be seen to be believed.  I urge you to check it out!  I only wish I had the skills to produce such work.

So, combine the funny story on the BBC, the amazingly odd E-fit picture, the inspiration of Hyperbole and a Half and my own personal love of doing rather half baked cartoon drawings…and what-da-ya-get?  You get an e-fit re-enactment that’s what!

My thought process was much like this:

1) I like funny and crudely drawn cartoons.  I should do one to represent this story.
2) Perhaps I should use the actual E-fit image, that would be funny.
3) In that case, could I create one of my cartoons in Photoshop? I know my drawing skills are poor and so result in comedy cartoons, but can my Photoshop skills mirror this style?
4) Why do the police only create an e-fit of a face?  What they need to do is create a recreation of the crime.  Much like Crimewatch, but in cartoon form with badly styled likenesses of the criminals.

So here you have it, my first E-fit re-enactment.  I should like to formally offer my services to the police.  Should you wish to hire me to help you get criminals, I am always  on hand!!!  Although given my rants on Ourworldmyeye against society and about the over inflated terror fear, I suspect that call may not come!

I thank you.

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