IF YOU EVER SEE A MAN WITH A LETTUCE HEAD – RUN, HE IS A CRIMINAL!
MR LETTUCE HEAD – WANTED FOR ROBBING OLD LADIES
Here is a transcript of what I image happened:
MR LETTUCE HEAD – “Oy love, giv us yer bag”
OLD LADY – On no, please don’t stab me Mr Lettuce Head – have what you will from me
MR LETTUCE HEAD – Sorry luv, nothing personal. But society is to blame. It’s my lettuce head see, nobody will employ a man with a vegetable for hair these days. It’s all those Eastern Europeans you see.
THE STRANGEST NEWS STORY TODAY
Ello Ello Ello! What have we here then?
Why it’s a man with a lettuce head.
Today, my eyes were instantly fixated by a rather special sounding headline on the BBC homepage, the title of which was: Hampshire police release lettuce e-fit suspect. My clicking finger could not resist, I had to investigate what this was all about.
The basic premise is that Hampshire police admitted having technical issues, when they re-leased an e-fit of a man who robbed an old lady of £60. The technical issue was that the suspect looked much like he was wearing a lettuce on his head. That’s amazing, I wish I was a Mr Lettuce Head and I would almost welcome being robbed by someone who was lettuce headed.
Anyway, after reading the story, I realised it wasn’t actually as exciting as it sounded and it certainly wasn’t as funny as the headline suggested – but the e-fit picture was quite special!
Arounds about the same time, I was made aware of a new blog – the author of which is my new hero. The Blog, Hyperbole and a Half is very special indeed and must be seen to be believed. I urge you to check it out! I only wish I had the skills to produce such work.
So, combine the funny story on the BBC, the amazingly odd E-fit picture, the inspiration of Hyperbole and a Half and my own personal love of doing rather half baked cartoon drawings…and what-da-ya-get? You get an e-fit re-enactment that’s what!
My thought process was much like this:
1) I like funny and crudely drawn cartoons. I should do one to represent this story.
2) Perhaps I should use the actual E-fit image, that would be funny.
3) In that case, could I create one of my cartoons in Photoshop? I know my drawing skills are poor and so result in comedy cartoons, but can my Photoshop skills mirror this style?
4) Why do the police only create an e-fit of a face? What they need to do is create a recreation of the crime. Much like Crimewatch, but in cartoon form with badly styled likenesses of the criminals.
So here you have it, my first E-fit re-enactment. I should like to formally offer my services to the police. Should you wish to hire me to help you get criminals, I am always on hand!!! Although given my rants on Ourworldmyeye against society and about the over inflated terror fear, I suspect that call may not come!
I thank you.