FOUND MOUSTACHE NUMBER 1

WHAT DO WE THINK OF THE MODERN MOUSTACHE THEN?

Well, views anyone?  I must confess – it rests uneasily with me.  I am a massive fan of the beard.  I am a massive fan of the massive beard in fact.  I am also a massive fan of massive hair in most formats BUT…I am NOT a massive fan of the tache (massive or otherwise) as a solo piece of facial hair.

In recent months, I have noticed that young men’s top lips are starting to become adorned with an array of different moustache types.  At first, it was simply the odd dandy partaking in this new wave facial hair – but now, its hit the general public and men the length and breadth of the country are hanging up their razors to champion a tache.

Personally I say no.  You do not wear a moustache on its own.  Wear a full beard and tache combination.  If you must, wear a designer beard alongside a moustache, but surely, you should never, ever, consider going solo.  Just check out the 70′s and 80′s for proof.

The question therefore is who is right?  Me and the don’t fly it solo gang, or them, who wear one with pride.  Shall we do some proper research?

BRING ON THE MOUSTACHIOD MEN…

Example #1 - random man with classic tache. NO	Example #2 - the more modern pencil thin street tache - NO
Example # 3 - The ever hansom Mr Pitt with tache - NO, you look like a fool	Example # 4 - Burt Reynolds with a smokin' tache - MAYBE...alright, so this one is quite good and I am a bit jealous
Example # 5 - Hitler sans his infamous tache...HMMMM - he looks much more friendly and approachable	THE HARD FACTS… So look, lets talk serious here.  It is plain to see from these samples, that, generally speaking – its a bad idea! NUMBER 1 – he looks like an 80′s stockbroker…and not in a good way. NUMBER 2 – No words can describe what a bad fashion choice this moustache was NUMBER 3 – No, No, No.  You look like a joke man – pull yourself together. NUMBER 4 – I accept this as firm evidence that some men, can unquestionably pull off a moustache. BUT, my caveat is that its Burt Reynolds.  We are not all Burt Reynolds – one man in a million is.  So, unless your that man – don’t consider it. NUMBER 5 – This is like my wild card.  Hitler is famous for his tache…remover it and what do you got? A slightly evil looking maths teacher, that’s who.  If Hitler hadn’t worn a moustache, imagine how different the world could have been.

WHAT DO STREET STYLE BLOGS HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THE MOUSTACHE?

So, I wonder if you are convinced yet?  Please don’t get me wrong – I am a fashion fan, but I am not a dedicated follower of fashion.  Sometimes a new trend comes in and I think it looks a bit stupid – then, over time, come around and join in (skinny jeans on bandy legged men like myself par example).  BUT…I am quite, quite confident in knowing that I shall never, ever, come round to the idea of wearing a moustache as a solo project.

Moustached Dandy from copenhagenstreetstyle.dk

I thought I would check out a few of the street style blogs to see what living samples I could find.

I was surprised at the turn out I got…I thought they would be littered with fine samples to prove my point – but those street style snappers were not playing ball.

THE STYLE SCOUT (stylescout.blogspot.com/) – NO TACHE

HEL LOOKS (www.hel-looks.com/) – NO TACHE

THE SARTORIALIST (www.thesartorialist.blogspot.com/) – NO TACHE

FACEHUNTER (facehunter.blogspot.com/) – NO TACHE

I thought I was going mad – I knew the tache had made a come back, I knew I had seen many samples in the fair city of Brighton – but this was not represented on the fashion blogs.  Had I got it all wrong?

But then, as I was about to abandon my post in shame, I checked out Copenhagen Street Style (copenhagenstreetstyle.dk) and YES, my patience was rewarded with this little beauty to my left.

They are a dapper couple – the lad looks interestingly turned out – nice boots, nice bow tie, nice scarf and shirt combination.  But that moustache – NO.  It was all going so well until that point, it just looks bad.

THE MOUSTACHE IS SIMPLY A COMEDY ACCESSORY

I think I have more than proved my point now.  The Moustache can be a comedy item, to be worn to a party, festival or perhaps for charity – but as a stand alone fashion item, its a bad show.  UNLESS you are Burt Reynolds – in which case, you can just about pull it off.

The main benefit of the moustache is as a comedy item, and that is how it should be.  Take Moustache Me (http://moustacheme.com/) for example, who comically apply moustaches to adverts, famous people and other such media.

It just so happened that as I was pondering the heady world of facial hair, I came across the two fine drawings which you can see in this post – which have been neatly illustrated with a stick on moustache.

Whilst I would love to claim them as my own work, sadly they were just something that I found and seemed to be rather appropriate.

Obviously, if one can grow a moustache such as the one to the right here, then we are entering into a whole new conversation about acceptance.  Once the realm of the cool tache has been passed – and the wearer is firmly and securely deposited into the realm of the comedy tache, then everything is acceptable.

As a final thought for you – take heed of the note scribbled under this moustache:

“I want to look rich because that is what my character wants to be”

I ask you – would that moustache make anyone look rich?

Just a quick one to get you in the mood.

Went to London yesterday and had another gander at Nick Knight’s SHOWstudio exhibition @ Somerset House.  A whole host of photos and a review coming soon.

Been there a few weeks ago and they have a casting instillation, where a camera records you answering some questions – then, the most beautiful get called up to a photo shoot.

It happens that I turned 30 last week and so had a number of cardboard masks of my face lying around (again, images and story to follow!).  So, I thought my under 30 face should do a casting rather than my actual over 30 face.

Behold the results below.

To see the video on the SHOWstudio website and see more casting videos, visit http://www.showstudio.com/project/fashionrevolutioncasting/

Always read the instructions!

What is it about human nature, especially male human nature – that makes us inclined to decide we can do anything without taking heed of the advice, guidance or instructions available to us.

Get a new electronic device – read the instructions?  Bollocks.  Fiddle with every button and work it out for yourself!  Its obviously a far more productive approach!

The same goes for the hell that is flat pack.  I hate flat pack, its rubbish.  Fair enough, your higher end products or ones that are actually designed with the user in mind are a useful device for those of us with no money and clearly defined furniture needs.  But in general, when any other form of furniture is available – that other form should be used!

A DAY IN MY FLAT PACK LIFE

So the importance of reading instructions was recently thrust upon me once again.  I am sure this lesson has been taught to me by numerous balls ups in the past…but yet again the ‘more haste less speed’ brigade rears their ugly heads.

We were visiting Hannah’s brother the other week and they were in the middle of a lounge re-fit, which, for  their sins, included some new flat pack units.  Keen to get the room finished, Dan decided to make the TV stand in a 2 hour break he had between work shifts.  Being a good guest I naturally agreed to step in and assist (plus I thought it might be fun as flat pack is a bit like a huge, badly cut jigsaw).

The first thing to come out the box was the note above – it clearly encouraged us to stop and look at the instructions.  Red always means danger.  The problem we faced was having a very short amount of time to knock the beast up in, as well as a small space in the kitchen to do it.  Plus, as Dan had recently done a fair bit of flat pack, he was confident that he could figure it out easily enough and smash the estimated build time of 2 hours.

We set to work.  It was going amazingly.  Smoke came from our screwdrivers, sweat fell from our brows.  Instructions were glanced at now and again to ensure compliance – but sheer male determination and knowing best was the ruler of the day.

The beast was quickly taking shape and looking like a triumph.  We gazed upwards – a glisten in our eye as we imagined the rapturous applause that would wait us when we finally unveiled the construction to the budding family next door.

A few cups of tea later and we had only a few screws more to put in and we would be done.  The timer was showing at just shy of 1 hour 10 – the estimated build time fucked on.  Victory, sweet victory was in sight.

IS IT MEANT TO BE THAT WAY UP?

Always Read the Manual (2009)

beckham_in_la_home_tile (from Sharpie.com website)

A DEDICATION TO HANNAH

Here is the background which will help explain my thoughts about the humble Sharpie – king of pens.

So the other week, Hannah and I popped into American Apparel in Brighton to exchange a T-shirt which wasn’t up to par.  A simple exchange, nothing complicated.

“Can I interest you in a Sharpie?”

Our eyes darted to the glistening glass fronted cabinet upon which the till of commercialism stood.  There, hiding beneath the protective barrier were rows upon rows of the much fabled Sharpie pens.  I believe we both looked at the pens, then at the serving lady, then at the pens and then at each other – before firmly, but politely rejecting the offer.

On leaving the shop we puzzled over why;
A) American Apparel were selling pens,
B) Why they were routinely offering them to all customers as though you are bound to suddenly desire an overpriced pen whilst you are paying for your overpriced fluorescent hot pants and
C) why people are so obsessed what is essentially a glorified marker pen.

Ode To A Sharpie (2009)

UNCAP WHATS INSIDE

Hell Is Other People (2009)

THE LOTTERY IS A CON

So the first part of the Hair-brained money raising campaign has been and gone and I have failed miserably in my initial quest to raise the dream amount of £220 to get my colouring pencils and new camera lens.  Let alone winning the £3000 dream target that would buy me all my dream possessions in the world.

So, in conclusion, the Lotto is a fix, a sham, a con and a farse.  My system was fool proof.  So fool proof that I reckon a fool must have won.  I managed to get 1 number in Saturday’s draw and that was it AND I had to endure watching 30 minutes of lottery coverage, hosted by the world’s most annoying presented Scott Mills, just to know I hadn’t won!

What are you going to do?

Move onwards and upwards that’s what – I reckon with a bit of thought my next money raising plan can be implemented pronto – watch this space.

THE TOTALOMETER

I thought it might help everyone to have a graph to chart the progress of the money raising campaign.

Therefore, to your left, you will find a graphical illustration of where we are at so far.  On the left axis, we are looking at money raised.  On the bottom access, attempts to raise money.

As we can extrapolate from this – at first, I had nothing or “£0″ as I like to call it.  Then, after attempt 1 at raising cash, I had a deficit of 2 pounds or “-£2″ as I like to call it.

Therefore, we can clearly see that spending £2 on Lotto tickets was a mistake and now I have to raise £222 instead of £220.  Live and learn.

JEAN-PAUL SARTRE

This quote by Jean-Paul Sartre struck a cord with me for two reasons:

1. Other people won the lottery and stole my £2 from me.  Say no more
2. I was listening to the news and they were interviewing an artist who has introduced a book of quotes to the London Underground.  The idea is that the tube drivers occasionally throw in an interesting or inspiring quote into their announcements to jolly up all the commuters in London town.  When the news presenter asked him for an appropriate quote for a busy, crowded tube journey – he  stated this one by Jean-Paul Satre. 
   At that exact moment, the lovely Hannah Copcutt stated that it was probably my perfect quote!

I thought on and realised that the fact I could ascertain from this statement is that I am a grumpy man who hates the general public, perhaps feeling absolute solitude would provide a more pleasant living environment.

Its true – unless they have big redbeards and strange angled eyes.

Attempt The Mitre (2009)

How many attempts can it take to cut a Mitre joint?

Shit loads.

I am not a practical man in the ways of being handy, but sometimes I give it a go.

Thought doing a Mitre Joint would be easy.

It wasn’t so easy, my feeble brain struggled against the throws of the mighty mathematical angle.

I nearly ran out of wood.

However – perseverance won the day.

I suppose me doing DIY is a metaphor for me in general…

Procrastinate about it for ages, finally make an effort, struggle against not being as good as I hoped, try my best and produce ‘adequate’ results!

Chubby Checker's Dancin' Party

I have multiple locations where I hoard the vast quantity of crap I find in the street.

I am a compulsive looker at any piece of paper or such like that I see on the floor – always worth a look in case its a forgotten gem.

Anyway, I figure the blog is an ideal way to share these finds with the general populous and so started the immense task of going through said found objects to put them in one place and see what I have actually got!

Whilst going through one drawer of stuff – this caught my eye.

Can’t remember exactly when or where I found it…and sadly there was no 7″ inside.  However, I strongly suspect that the cover art is better than any music that could have been contained inside!

However, I did take the liberty of checking out the tune itself, found a clip on YouTube of the Mr Checker performing this little number.  Click here to see Chubby Checker perform Dancin’ Party on YouTube

After listening, I still think the artwork is better than the track!  In three simple images they manage to portray the true genius of his dancin’ style and I can only imagine that any Dancin’ Party was improved by the his moves.

I particularly like his facial expressions…starting from the left:

1. Extreme concentration – Chubby is obviously aware that by putting his left leg and left arm forward at the same time, he is opening himself up for potential disaster.  He must use all his Dancin’ Party knowledge to pull off the move.
2. Smug and proud – His face and body language say it all.  Having pulled off the tricky dance move as described above – he knows he can do no wrong.  We see a more relaxed Chubby.
3. Pure ecstasy – It looks like he is doing a Cossack dance, which would bring joy to anyone’s face.  Either that or he has just ripped the seam of his trousers.

Thanks Chubby!

By the way, is it just me or was Chubby Checker not-so-chubby?

Kinswood Egg Man - protects you from salmonella

Bought some eggs the other day at a car boot sale – local and free range.  Nice.

They came from someone who had a small holding, so obviously collected and kept egg boxes so they could sell them at boot sales and alike.

After finished with said eggs, I was about to put the box in the compost heap when,  the incredible egg man that was featured on the front of the box caught my attention.

Check him out – he’s amazing!

However, what really struck me was what the point of the egg man was – what are Kinswood trying to reveal?

A muscle-man, athletic egg man is not the way I would choose to sell eggs!  I can’t work out whether his purpose is to show he is strong and fit and therefore salmonella free…or if by eating the eggs, you will become a athletic, salmonella free egg man!

If the thinking was the latter, then this raises a new problem – I am not sure I want to eat an egg that has bigger muscles than me and wears snazzy red trainers!

God bless designers!

Also reminded me of a comic book Hannah gave me at Christmas called ‘Egg Story’.  The simple tale of a simple egg that becomes a ninja.

Perhaps Eggs are an unexploited form of creativity.